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Anonymous

OK, Erik I know you are not the brightest, but I am also certain you are not th dullest either and that you are smart enough to know that anonymous means any of the following:

  1. Having an unknown or unacknowledged name: an anonymous author.
  2. Having an unknown or withheld authorship or agency: an anonymous letter; an anonymous phone call.
  3. Having no distinctive character or recognition factor

But the fact that you wrote about attending an Anonymous 12 step program and bashing it when  it is there to save sick people like me and yourself (your words not mine) thats fucked.  As i have been part of a 12 step program that has kept me sober for nearly 2 years now, I know they can and do work. I have never once had to join a religion, forced to fuck god in order to be healed or agree with anyone at meetings.

When I first started attending them I could barely see straight and sit still. My first 90 days I was manic and usually wanted to stab someone or something in the throat. I was not happy, joyous nor free, but everyday I was getting better. I even got rid of this hate fueld blog for a long time, did ya miss me?

Now I am so not perfect, but I do have a power of my understanding, strong healthy relationships, my bf and I were able to get rid of the negative influences in our lives, I am able to pray and hell even meditate for a few minutes which is tremendous growth for a total dick like me. There are even times when if a lady steps on my new Jordans and I want to scream cunt at her, but rather i say excuse me with a twitchy smile. Once, some guy got into a fist fight with me and I didn't even throw one punch I just took it with a smile and laughed til he was tired. I am not perfect, but the point is I am better.

And speaking of not perfect I will now make fun of you:

"Well, unaware of the program (obviously, since you are still a self absorbed selfish twat), i happened to be starting my "recovery" of a 12 step program on the 11th step. yay, almost done( holy shit i have been in a 12 step program for 2 years and i am only on the 5th step. Already on step 11!!!! You are a GOD dumb dumb right?), The 11th step dealing with God and meditation.Kill me now( not gonna touch this. She is too unstable to joke about this). In my head, i fought myself, "where do i draw the line"? This fucking piss smell, the god mumbo jumbo. I was in my own personal hell( you were in your own hell prior to the meeting sweetie...I mean meth, David Barton and porn...oh is that gay men heaven? It's hell to me lady). But i stuck it out. but i sware, i refuse to let this program force feed me belief in bullshit that i flat out refuse to believe in. ( no program is set up to force feed you anything or change your "beliefs" but rather your actions and how you deal with problems, So have skittle dumb dumb and relax it will start to work)"

IT gets way better or tragic depending on who's side you are on:

"One guy in particular i couldn't help giving him the finger behind the back of another member( ok ok I admit I have done this SOOO many times in meetings and even worse shit. So two snaps that was funnay dumb dumb) as he talked about how he was semi-famous and that leading a life in the eye of the public was hard when sexual addiction was being mentioned in the news( um are you sure you didn't have an outer body experience and just realize how stupid you sound dumb dumb...in your case it's more like rarely famous). Maybe i was in the wrong room after all, maybe you had to be delusional also to be in this group( if delusional is a step you could totally skip it and move to the next one cause you HAVE that one down cray cray)? I just chalked it up to another fags leading out a fantasy life in his head like so many fags do( ok seriously. He is talking about himself right?). "

"I was also asked to go to another, "beginners" meeting tomorrow night. If i go, i will honestly impress myself. Friday night... Jesus, why don't they just castrate me. Fucking Bastards. Well see, maybe if i go enough the brainwashing will kick in and i wont need that lobotomy after all."

All jokes a side, dude just fucking go and shut up and listen and stick with the people who have time.  Get rid of the ego and show a little humility wheen you are there it will do wonders.  All of your anger is just killing yourself.

This is probably my last Erik Rhodes post, but I had to address someone making fun of my 12 steps....you know how I step betch!

It works if you work it!

Amends 403: Juanita Pantyhosa

This amends is amazing, cause it happened when i least expected it and in a place where I rarely go.  This summer at the Eagle everyones favorite something, Juan approached me to tell me how amazing i looked and that i seemed so much nicer! Which was way sweet of him.

I then apologized for all of the mean things I did to him and he was so happy that we were once again friends.  I didn't give him a full Amends cause of course I am not on the step yet but I gave him a huge I'm sorry and I took sober action by buying him numerous drinks.  Just cause I am sober doesn't mean I can't be an enabler!

Also, it was awesome running into him while he was waiting in line to get into Sebastian's and a friend of mine cut the long line cause of course I know the people who threw the party.  I mean at first I felt bad but I just knew my higher power wanted me in ASAP so I wouldn't catch a cold.  I definitely mad sure to throw Juan a smile and a wave as I walked in.  I kinda felt bad he had to wait another 30 minutes before entering the party.  Oh well, I prayed on it!

Sorry.

Ok so I'm a little dramatic at times, hence why I have deleted my entire blog twice, but for serious this time I am going to be way nicer and plus after reaching over 500k people in 2 years I realize I have a lot of fans....even including people who once hated me and now love me....(yes Juan and Joe My God included you included!!!)

Although blogging is not my life and I am famous without it, it's still kinda funny to write what I feel and then receive 20 emails from people wishing they were me...ah gratitude....plus I'm awesome!

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